Prozac Adventures

Do not fuck around with anti-depressants. You'll end up in a crippling tear-drenched sadness coma, curled up in a ball under your desk, one inch away from suicide. Yet, someone gave me a box of Prozac and Lithium to "sell" to kids at school. Um, yeah, anyway.

I easily could have tricked some yuppie into thinking these pills were ecstasy, but instead of selling my conscience for a fiver, I flushed them down the toilet, releasing them into the water supply. Either a lot of people are going to feel a boost like no other or I made a lot of fish very, very happy.

Bye bye, Prozac!

I also had liquid Prozac, which I applied a little "Drink Me" sticker to and left in a park. Perchance some lucky homeless man stumbled upon the bottle, took the advice and had a very different day from usual.

Holy Moses, what have I done? And how will I ever know the unjust ramifications of my actions? I don't watch broadcast news (some things really will screw up your brain beyond repair) so I'll never hear of any rampaging Prozac outbreaks. I'll just have to sit here and imagine.

Weekend Buzz: Issue Six: Dismal Dissonance Edition

Someday we're gonna give you a guide to curating you're own LSA from nature's Heavenly flower, the Morning Glory. If you're already nursing a hangover, like I am, hopefully the following will ease you into a Phuq'ed up weekend. This week's theme demonstrates the disgusting beauty of the human vocal cords.








Well, I guess at least half of this post is just mocking foreigners.

Monday Buzz: Spiky Spicy Stupid

That shit Spice crap put me in a coma for three days. I hear that shit's cancerous, too, so now I've got massive tumors growing out of my chest to worry about. Stick with what's real, folks. Nature ain't gonna kill you.

Anyways, have a nice weekend? Wait. . .

Well, it's 4:20 somewhere, watch this shit.




Educational:




Sensational:

The Weirdness: What's Weird is Iggy Is Still Alive

The Weirdness (2007)
Iggy Pop and the Stooges
(ick. some people will sell anything.)
reviewed by King Kill

Trip-O-Meter: 0/10

Iggy, it is time to go die. Unless you did already like fifteen years back. You damn well should’ve. Seriously, you look like a five-foot tall screaming foreskin. Just try owning a t-shirt. See how it works out. But I digress.

I remember when The Weirdness had just been announced. I was overwhelmed with glee that I get the rare opportunity to have part of a legendary bands legacy occur in my lifetime. I remember when it finally came out in 2007 and I stole it off the internet…. And then I remember not being able to listen to any portion of their discography for a very long while after that.

Weekend Buzz: Issue Five: Russians and Puppets

Hed Phuq'ers will resume a more updated schedule when we get around to it. For now, get fucked up on these Russian puppets and puppet Russians and enjoy your weekend.







Best for last:

Summer of Misdeeds

The Summer of my Miscreant
by King Kill

School is out for summer. The three months that follow hold a great deal of promise that will invariably give way to a sense of guilt and lethargy in August as we all look back at how we squandered our time. Well no more! It is time to create our hedphuqing summer bucket lists. We’re all going to die someday but if we’re lucky our seasonal bucket list can be the facilitator. These are not feats that we want to reflect back on proudly before we die of old age. This is the shit that’ll get us there faster. So come on everybody, post your list in the comments so it’s documented and at the beginning of the fall we’ll recollect on our successes and mourn the fallen brethren that couldn’t live up to their list.


1. Reach the summit of a 14teener.

There are so many unfortunate ramifications to being young. We won’t realize our own vitality until it has withered away. There are only so many years of my life left that I’ll be so able-bodied to even be capable of certain feats. That said, I’m going to climb some damn mountains.

2. Meander the streets of the inner city in the middle of the day with a head full of acid, making words with at least one public official.

Tripping in seclusion is all well and good but how can you terrify the locals when you’re so far from Main Street? It’s time to get freaky and freak out some suits.


3. Live in the wild without a tent or any modern convenience, living only off the land for at least one night.

We’ve lost our connection with nature but I’m certain it can be restored.


4. Attend a show or event with no intent on paying admittance. The grander the better.

We’ve all gotten special treatment for one fateful reason or another but to say, approach Cricket Pavilion with only the intention of scaling a wall or creating a diversion holds a new element of danger.


5. Join an underground society and attend a gathering. Must be subversive in some degree.

Whether it be the Freemason or the Arizona Power Exchange, I must infiltrate the organization to an extent not typically allowed OR become aware of a society that isn’t open to the public to any extent, “Anonymous” for example.


6. Scout out and infiltrate a condemned or securely private property

An old, abandoned hospital or a graveyard would do. I must enter, investigate thoroughly and either take a memento or leave a mark of some kind.

So that’s mine, let’s hear yours….

Weekend Buzz: Issue Four: Satan and Friends

Hey, remember us? Here's something to get your weekend jumpstarted. And just remember, you can't jizz on a cracker and call it caviar.




Those crazy Dutch. Must be all those great coffeeshops.



But the Dutch aren't as bad as the Norwegians.


Every talk show should be like this. Imagine Jon Stewart talking like this. Larry King interviewing people who matter. Imagine Bill O'Reilley chillin' the fuck out.

Vince Collins: Acid Animator of Abomination

Vince Collins
(it's in here somewhere . . .)
reviewed by J. Kane
Trip-O-Meter: 10/10


I've luckily never had a bad trip and Vince Collins makes never want to. His animation style is incredibly disturbing and to make matters worse, it's flawless. Disney doesn't have shit on this guy. "Malice In Wonderland" is probably his masterpiece, retelling Lewis Carroll's classic tale from the perspective of a raving, drugged-out sex fiend who is raping your eyeballs with a cock made of pure DMT. Moreover, it makes Tim Burton's remake look like a steaming pile of crap. Collins is two for two.

I'm not gonna say much more. Just don't blame me if in 13 minutes, you never recover. (Also, some of these are NSFW.)



Look at this! He even makes patriotic bullshit seem like a backwards acid trip!



Last one. And to think, they played this shit in movie theaters! Totally normal people saw this and had no idea what to think!