(Buy this and get addicted)
reviewed by J. Kane
Trip-o-meter: 10/10
Just like cigarettes, Tobacco is disgustingly seductive. He will pour his filth down your throat, songs like "Truck Sweat" or "Hairy Candy," and you'll like it. You'll get addicted to it's grooves. And since peer pressure is good for you, here's a compulsive guide to fucking up your stuck-up friends.
OPTION UNO:
1. Let's say you want to introduce some people to the dark side of suburban living and these friendly neighbors have never had a whiff of any brainteasers. If you're only having a couple people over, make Mushy Shakes. If you grind an ounce of dried 'shrooms in a mortar and pedestal until it's a fine powder and sprinkle it over a couple of cinnamon banana milkshakes, no one will notice. Serves 4-10 people.
OPTION DOS:
1. Invite half the block and make a shitload of Mexican food. It's cheap and salty. The salt will get them drinking a lot more. Add an unsuspecting tray of loaded pot brownies next to the drinks. Provide lots of beer.
2. Fill a cooler with LSD. Just enough to get the party started. Walk around a lot offering laced water.
IMPORTANT! - In either option, put on a nice hed phuq'ing record. This time we suggest Tobacco's "Fucked Up Friends," for the appropriate name and how it clogs up your pores.
REMEMBER! - You are merely a needle going around deflating a lot of brains. Turning your worthless, know-nothing, Democrat-voting neighborhood into something useful -- a slushy, melted mess. They'll thank you in the future.
P.S. Don't actually do this, dipshit. This is a review in disguise.
No comments:
Post a Comment